Occult Tabloid Spurned by Rupert Murdoch

"A Voice Crying in fhe Wilderness"

Stinging from years of declining readership, the world's most ignored occult tabloid, "Watchers of the Griffin," was rebuffed by Rupert Murdoch's Newscorp last week, following the Paparazzi tabloid's desperate bid to survive by selling out to Newscorp.

For those unfamiliar with "Watcher of the Griffin," the tabloid's primary claim to fame has been desperately dogging my exploits over the years.

Newscorp execs today issued a statement explaining their position, declaring "why should we be interested in a would-be tabloid nobody reads in a niche market?"

Still smarting from the Murdoch rebuff, "Watchers" this week unveiled one last desperate attempt to remain relevant, this time giving itself a snazzy new look using Theme.co's new X-Theme.

The idea itself is probably not a bad one, although someone really ought to teach the paparazzi how to properly use the x-theme slider. 

"You need to be able to actually READ the articles, not just look at the pretty slider!"

Well, at a minimum we ought to give the paparazzi kudos for at least trying to remain relevant. The only problem is:

"NO ONE CARES!"